Kenneth and I met some 38 years ago. We met in high school and somehow hit it off almost immediately. We came from different backgrounds and cultures but that did not stop us from becoming friends. All we needed was one common ground. We found that in the fact that we were in the same school and at the same time.
As of today he remains the longest friend I have. Over the years we’ve gone through different circumstances and situations. We’ve had to drift off everyone to their own things and loosing contacts. At some point I did not even know where he was and what was going on in his life. I eventually got to hear he was in the US and somehow life brought us together again. That meeting was what initiated the idea for this book. We felt our experiences would help and add value to others. Without any doubt it should also strengthen our relationship. We still have our differences but we celebrate them while appreciating our similarities.
We all need friends in our life. We need people who are true to us and ready to stand with us and be there for us through this thing we call life.
A friend is
Here in this chapter I want to share a bit of what I’ve learnt about friends and friendship.
There are five things I believe you should look out in choosing your friends.
1. People who call forth you destiny– Your friends will never allow you to live below your true potential. They are able to see what’s in you and help you bring it out. I’ve found this to be true with my friend Ken. Only recently he was able to seek and find almost all our class mates after some 30 years of loosing contact and bringing us together. We all had it us but we needed someone to bring it out.
2. People who will give anything to protect your destiny. Many times we come under attacks. It takes a true friend to help protect who we are and what we represent. At some point in my life, I was seriously being criticized for what I never did. Worse part was many seemed to believe it. It took the help of a friend to find the truth and bring it to the open. I was saved by the power of friendship. Remember Jonathan in the Bible? He went the extra mile to protect his friend David.
3. People who add or multiply value to your life. There would be people around who take value TLC Ron you and never add to you. Those are not friends. Friends always make you better when they come around you. They multiply value to you and your work.
4. People who can persevere with you through all season. Life happens as they say. When it does you need friends who can stand with you to weather the storm.
Most times what happens is that people leave you when you are down and only come around when you are up and well. True friends are not like that. I believe that anyone who cannot stay with you when you are small does not qualify to be with you when you are big.
5. People who can hold you accountable even when it hurts. We all mess up sometimes. We fail and miss the mark. This is when you need someone to hold you accountable and see to it that you fail forward.
What to look for in choosing your friends:
1. Agreement. Do your values align? Do you hold on to the standards? What ethics rules you? Are they in sink.
2. Faithfulness. Is this person faithful to you and to the relationship? Unfaithful friends can’t last together
3. Loyalty. Is their any form of loyalty.
4. Commitment. Is this person committed to you and your goal. Are comfortable with your success. I’ve seen people who profess to be friends break apart when one seems to do bette Ethan the other. That’s not true friendship.
FIVE KEYS FOR TRUE AND LASTING FRIENDSHIP
1. Acceptance; it helps us to tolerate each other. No one is perfect we are all work in progress. Learn to accept people the way they are while helping them get better
2. Attraction; it begins when people like each other. For people to like you, you must be likable. Do things that excites people. Be a fun loving fellow. Find something good about somebody and appreciate them for it.
3. Affection. Love is the glue that keeps people together. Friends stick together be kayode they love each other.
4. Accountability; they are accountable for each other to keep themselves on good track.
5. Award. This implies giving honour to each other. It could giving a good gift to one another. We all can do a lot better with positive affirmation.